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英语笑话  

2014-09-17 15:58:43|  分类: 英语笑话 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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1."Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
 
"Yes, dear," she replied, "Why do you ask?"
 
"Because I've just bitten my tongue! "
 
“我们有毒吗?”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
 
“是的,亲爱的,”她回答说,“你问这个干什么?”
 
“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”
2.It's a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.
 
Fox: "What are you working on?"
 
Rabbit: "My thesis."
 
Fox: "Hmmm. What's it about?"
 
Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."
 
Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes."
 
Rabbit: "Sure they do, and I can prove it. Come with me."
 
They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After a few minutes, the rabbit returns, alone, to his typewriter and resumes typing.
 
Soon, a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.
 
Wolf: "What's that you're writing?"
 
Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."
 
Wolf: "You don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"
 
Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?"
 
The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow, and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.
 
Inside the rabbit's burrow: In one corner, there is a pile of fox bones. In another corner, a pile of wolf bones. On the other side of the room, a huge lion is belching and picking his teeth.
 
It doesn't matter what you choose for a thesis subject.
 
It doesn't matter what you use for data.
 
What does matter is who you have for a thesis advisor.
 
这是一个阳光灿烂的晴朗日子,森林里一只小兔子坐在洞穴外,在打字机上敲敲打打。这时一只散步的狐狸走了过来。
 
狐狸:“你在做什么呢?”
 
兔子:“写我的论文。”
 
狐狸:“唔,是关于什么的?”
 
兔子:“噢,我在写兔子是怎样吃掉狐狸的。”
 
狐狸:“你太搞笑了吧!谁都知道兔子不吃狐狸。”
 
兔子:“兔子当然吃,我能证明的。跟我来。”
 
它们一起消失在兔子的洞穴里,几分钟后只有兔子独自出来了。它回到打字机前继续敲打。
 
很快,一只狼走了过来,停下看着兔子奋力工作。
 
狼:“你在写什么呢?”
 
兔子:“我在写论文,关于兔子如何吃掉狼。”
 
狼:“你不会指望这种垃圾论文被发表吧!”
 
兔子:“能发表,你想知道为什么吗?”
 
兔子和狼一起进了洞穴,而兔子又一次独自走了出来。几分钟后它继续打字。
 
兔子洞穴里:一个角落里是一堆狐狸骨头,另一角落里是一堆狼骨头。而另一侧是一只狮子,它边打着饱嗝,边剔着牙齿。
 
论文的题目选什么无关紧要。
 
你用什么作为例证数据也无关紧要。
 
真正重要的是:你的论文导师是谁!
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